Talking After Chemo

Whew.  I went for chemotherapy yesterday, and I’m a little slowed down.  Funny, I don’t know if it’s the drug itself, or the extended period of IV therapy, but I have big fatigue today.  I napped after I got home from the treatment, and walked slowly through Target later.  I didn’t feel like I was overdoing it, and I even slept extra-long last night. 


Today I’m tired and feverish, but unaccountably happy.  I sat on the floor in my craft room and cleared out another bin that was holding yarn cast-offs and sad pieces of unwanted knitting.  It’ll be another shipment to the prison knitting project, and it cleared a gigantic drawer-type bin to hold all my knitted baby and child stuff.  I was also able, with Chris’ help, to empty a giant box of old art supplies and projects.  I cleared out two bags and shoved the rest onto shelves, and that was another eight cubic feet of space in my craft room.  Inch by inch…


My happiness isn’t unaccountable.  I’m just so optimistic, after many moons of pseudo-optimism, and it’s kind of bursting out.  You could tell in previous posts, I’m sure, that there were times of being weary with this process.  I’ve been sick, well, sick, well….well…well…oh SICK for sixteen years, and the tedium of that inevitable cycle was making me growl.  The funny thing is, the short lesson we had in the class last week opened my eyes to the fact that my past optimism has been largely superficial, fooling everybody (even me) but not enabling me to live like I believed it.  It was evident in some of the habits I’ve picked up over these years.  Now that I see it, I can truly live with belief in my long life and good health to come.  I’m gonna be like my little old parents, old enough to be an aggravation.  Watch out, family!


Our recent reunion was the seventh, covering 13 years.  For me, the absolute best.  I’m the fifth of the six daughters, and my child is the youngest of the grandchildren at 20.  Our children are all adults, and it was evident that they are contributing to reunion and taking over some of the work of planning and presenting, and they do it well.  It is happening smoothly, without controversy or possessiveness, with the generations almost melting into a single continuous line of family members.  It is probably moreso with us than the average family, as there is a ten year gap between my older four sisters and us at the end, then only a six year gap before the first grandchild.  The grandchildren of my parents range from 20 to 44 years in age.  They merge with the great-grandchildren, who range from 2 to 20.  It makes an interesting dynamic, with most of us relating equally well to folks who are much older and much younger than us.


As we have grown to know one another better, we’ve become more accepting and tactful.  There is a grace to welcoming and including the young and old, achievement-oriented and struggling, sick and well.  This gentler spirit has been a long time coming in such an outspoken, opinionated family.  I am so proud of our advancement in this respect.  I love these people. 


I’ve been involved in the end stages of a project, one of those that I can’t talk about until it’s done.  I’ve really enjoyed it, almost hate to put down the yarn that I’m using because it has worked so well.  I took my bag of chemocaps into the office yesterday, labelling them while I sat there with my IV running.  I had time to crochet one more before I left.  The last two were crocheted from, cotton and a bit of elastic, in great colors with a nice tight twist to the yarn.  I happened on a pleasing combination of sea green and melon and used it twice.  Something colorful around a pale, tired face can be very cheering.  Those won’t be my last caps.


Seeing my niece, Christine, at reunion reminded me that I was waaaay overdue on her cotton blanket.  I knit a funky cap in the first days there.  It is from a fabulous yarn that was a gift from a friend at Flying Fingers in the Hudson Valley.  They’ve continued to have just what I want when I want it,  to be available for information and also suppliers of great fun.  The yarn is Ritratto from S. Charles, an unbelievably sparkly, soft, rayon and kid mohair with a touch of nylon and polyester in the decoration, that you can see here (fuchsia no less!):   I felt guilty enough about the blanket to give in to Christine’s first request for the hat.  It looked adorable on her, and of course I failed to get a photo.  Anyway, I’m making short work of that blanket. 


The trip to Target yesterday was for supplies of my favorite kind:  equipping a student for that first year at college.  This is my third year in a row.  The first year, I found a great list at the Bed, Bath & Beyond website.  It covers everything from cosmetics to laundry supplies in a convenient checklist.  In addition to getting Chris settled at College of the Adirondacks, Dayna has a real change of venue this year as a new apartment-dweller.  She spent one year in the dorm, one in her sorority house, and now to the bigger world, sharing with a good friend.  Their furnished place has full-size beds and other minor changes that necessitate a bit of shopping.  We loved it yesterday.  We didn’t miss an aisle in bed and bath supplies. 


Lord I am talky!  Time to shut the laptop and knit myself to sleep.  There’s more time and cyberspace tomorrow.




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