A Flare of Drunk Knitting

I learned a new term after my daughter reached a certain age:  drunk dialing.  The Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com) defines a drunk dial this way:  “To make a regrettable late night phone call after drinking heavily.”  Last night I had terrible knee pain, as I have  had for several days.  It seems to always come at the end of the day; typical of inflammation, it isn’t related to the time I’m actually using the knees.  Anyway, I took a whole pain pill about 10 p.m.  At 3 a.m. the pain awakened me, again intense.  I took another whole pain pill.  At 6 a.m. my body awakened, per usual, and I got up to start my day.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that the pain medicine was still affecting me.  I got my coffee and some cereal, then settled down for some knitting.


You might be drunk knitting if…
…your humming turns into singing “hey mr. rayon, you are my brother” in a high falsetto so you can hear the echo.
…you gradually take phrases of stitches off your lace pattern until you are knitting “slip 2, knit 1, psso, slip 2, knit 1, psso, slip 2, slip 2, slip 2”.
…you have to say the words aloud to keep track.
…you pick up your knitting and find that you are mid-row, spend 10 minutes trying to figure out your position on the pattern, then realize it’s the purl every stitch side.
…you seriously consider using chunky yarn and big needles to knit yourself a tent.
…you kill a fly on your knitting couch and can’t stop saying “dead fly, dead fly, dead fly” in your squeakiest high voice.
…you stop knitting to play air guitar on your needles.
…your green yarn suddenly reminds you of avocados, french green beans, pistachios, spinach, and every other green food you love.
…you make up stories about your stitches:  knit two together is two gay people getting married in California because it’s finally legal, a slip stitch is escaping and sets into motion a whole capture consisting of a knit stitch making it climb over the fence and lay down.
…you make up a new hummus recipe in your head and immediately go to the blender and execute
(garbanzo beans, olive oil, sesame tahini, salt and pepper, basil, lime juice, plain greek yogurt, grape seed oil Vegenaise).
It was an interesting morning.  I had a ball entertaining myself.  And the hummus was the best I ever made.  Even Chris the chef-to-be said so.  All the while, I was playing Cold Play’s new Viva la Vida, newly downloaded from iTunes.  (I believe in paying for your music and your books.)  The tunes are excellent!  Fabulous lyrics, new, fresh and ironic, but immediately singable:  “Those who are dead are not dead, they’re just living in my head; and since I fell for that spell I am living there as well.”   Love it. 
I saw my rheumatologist this afternoon.  He agreed to collude with me in denying that I’m in a flare for the moment.  He did point out several places where swollen synovium was/n’t really there.  He also showed me the joint fluid that could/n’t be swelling my knees.  We decided that unless I’m in worse trouble, I don’t have to increase my prednisone.  Worse trouble means leg stiffness, worse systemic symptoms, etc.  The idea is to hold off on another round of B-cell killing as long as possible.  I got labwork, as usual.  I have blood drawn monthly, since I take methotrexate and it can cause numerous side effects, some of which need blood monitoring.   I swapped stories with the staff, a group that I love, and headed home.
I have knitted all day.  (I think you could divide knitters temperamentally by whether they use the past tense “knit” or “knitted”.  Both are correct.)  I confined my knitting to the recently frogged green shirt for my daughter.  It’s going beautifully.  Another hour and I’ll be back to the decreases in the back.  The construction of the top is very elegant, with the bodice and sleeve being one piece, sewn to the slanted empire waist of the back and front.  I’m going to be a lace junkie.  Might as well accept it, I doubt there’s a cure. 
If you want to make the drunk knitting hummus, toss all the ingredients in the blender.  I used one 15 oz. can of garbanzos, about 2 TBSP olive oil and 2TBSP sesame tahini, and 1/4 c. each of Vegenaise (or mayo) and plain yogurt.  Season to taste.  Enjoy. 



2 Responses

  1. Hum. Sounds pretty normal to me!

  2. Geez, I’ve been drunk knitting (DK), and using the term “Drunk Knitting,” for ages. It leads to some truly creative design moments. However, I’ve considered enlisting a designated knitter (not to be confused with a designated hitter). I become dangerously vociferous while drunk knitting.

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