The Sunday Litany

I went to church this morning. This is how I got there:

Alarm, alarm, it’s 6:23.  I can make the 8 a.m. service.  Get up, flex the feet, get up, hurry to the kitchen.  Start the coffeemaker.  Go to the potty.  Go to the laundry room, find some pants.  Get your coffee–oh no! malfunction, coffee’s on the counter, clean, clean, clean it up!  Put dog out.  Let dog in.  Drink the half-cup.  Start the shower, get in, lather hair, wash body, rinse hair.  Find conditioner–can’t see labels, no glasses.  Conditioner on hair, water off, leave shower.  Oops, hair not rinsed, back in shower.  Water on, too cold, too hot, just rinse and run.  Dry, dry, dry, dry…dry (big body, small towel).  Find glasses.  Find cosmetics, put them on.  Get clothes.  Wrinkled pants?  Get more pants.  Black?  Blue?  Can’t tell.  Wear them anyway.  Blue blouse, red sweater.  Earrings missing.  Look in drawer, look on table, look on counter, open another drawer, see earrings!  Blue rose earrings, put on shoes.  Get medicines.  Need food, get toast, splurge on yogurt, eat food.  Take pills, only three.  Close bottles.  No, wait, need Tylenol!  Get sweater, put on, admire, fix collar, admire.  Oh no, eyebrow strays, get tweezers, pluck, pluck, pluck, ouch!  That’s better.  Get purse.  No, nicer purse.  Change wallet, business cards, pen, checkbook.  Gotta go.  Get in car, leave neighborhood, fix the music.  Drive, drive, why do I live so far out?  Drive, drive, big parking lot–no, that’s another church.  Drive, drive, there’s the light.  Whew I’m here!  Only 10 minutes late. 




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