Dangling the Carrot

What’s the best present God can give a woman?  A good man?  Great hair?  Twenty years of free housekeeping service?  Heck no!  It’s a no-brainer:  weight loss.  I mean, for those of us who don’t have eating disorders and treasure these moments for all the wrong reasons, stepping on the scales and getting a free weight loss is like a trip to Saks with a gift card. 

Well, duh, I’m not talking about this for no reason at all!  I stepped on the scales today and registered an eight pound loss .  I know they do that every week on Biggest Loser, but I can’t lift weights and climb stairs six hours a day.  Matter of fact, my current exercise regimen requires 10 minutes of movement a day.  Shut up.  That’s not funny.  So it took me a month to get the 8 pounds, but I’m proud. 

But…(there’s always a but) I do this every couple of years.  I (finally!!!) get down to 10 mg of prednisone a day, my body wants regular food in regular quantities again, and I lose 40 pounds.  Just as I’m starting to enjoy it and spend about a million bucks on new clothes, I go into a flare.  The prednisone goes up, the appetite sky-rockets, I start craving shots of Reddiwhip, and I gain 60 pounds.  On top of that, my exercise minutes go into the minus column.  Two steps forward, three or five steps back. 

So I’m not going to get excited.  This is just God dangling a carrot in front of me.  I know that sustaining this weight loss momentum depends on keeping my prednisone down and my exercise up.  (I told you before, that IS exercise!)  New mantra.  Flare prevention is my life. 

I can’t resist an open letter to my weight loss partner:  You’re goin’ down, dude!!! 



3 Responses

  1. That’s crazy talk! Obviously the sardines are going to someone’s head.

  2. Wow..great mantra..FLARE PREVENTION..that’s what it’s all about, and those 8 pounds? GREAT!!…NO not grate..but fantabulous!! Sense of humor is still in tact…Walk on girl…!!! Walk on !!

  3. 8 lbs! that’s wonderful and not at all slight – i would love to lose 8 lbs in a month. way to go! you should be very proud.

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