I Wanna Knit Right Now

I’ve decided today is the day to start working on a sample I have committed to knit.  I’ve been very excited about getting started, but since the yarn is cream-coloured, I have waited until I was ready to prepare an extra-clean knitting environment.  Fortunately, I don’t have to worry too much, as the daughter and son are away at school and the dog is short.  The dog is a short-haired dachshund, and even the places she can reach don’t have much hair.  Still and all, we don’t hug when I’m working on a special project.  I have an area where I can lay out all my stuff and enjoy the experience.  I have the yarn and pattern out.  I’ve already read the pattern through twice.  I never knit without first reading to the end.  Surprises are not good.   

Sooo, I’m ready for swatching, something I must do when I am knitting someone else’s pattern and aiming to make a specific size.  And guess what?!  I don’t have any free size 4 US straight needles.  All of them are in use (or lost in the couch).  Believe me, I have searched high and low.  And in my needle case.  I searched for so long that I started chanting “I wanna knit right now…” and before I knew it, a rap was born:

I wanna knit right now-

Knit the stitch and purl the row, knit witch, to scratch the itch,

I wanna knit right now.

I wanna wrap right now-

Wrap the yarn, slip over, knit two together, pattern feather,

I wanna wrap right now.

I wanna swatch right now-

Check the needle, make it square, correct gauge is all the rage,

I wanna swatch right now.

I called a friend and rapped it to him and he told me I was good-at knitting.  But I’ve known for a long time that I could write rap lyrics.  Or country lyrics.  Or gospel lyrics (with less sincerity…).  After all, I listen to things like this:

“This is why I’m hot, this is why I’m hot, this is why I’m hot, this is why I’m hot:

I’m hot ‘coz I’m fly, you ain’t ‘coz you not!

This is why I’m hot, this is why I’m hot…” (MIMS, from “This is Why I’m Hot)

and “I Done Fell Out In Da Dance Floor And Now I can’t get up…” (Hurricane Chris, from “Ay Bay Bay”)

I called and did my rap for my daughter.  Now she’s afraid to invite me to her sorority’s Parents’ Weekend.  Holy cow!  All those crazy slang words made the spell checker go nuts! 

This is how I look when I can’t find the right needles.  See that frown?

 essieismad.jpg

That frown comes from my daddy.  When I was a kid, my mama would say “Stop that frowning.  It’s going to stick and be permanent, just like your daddy’s.”  He has deep, vertical lines between his eyebrows.  He was a stern man, but not continually angry.  Maybe it was his years in the military, including two tours of duty in Europe during World War II and two tours in Korea.  When I was little I loved to feel those grooves, and to instruct Daddy to stretch his forehead and smooth it out.  I thought I could fix his frown.  It’s a wonder I didn’t go into plastic surgery…or psychiatry.  I’m not sure internal medicine gave me enough opportunity to fix frowns. 

I’ve gotta go out and get some needles.  I could capitulate to the demon employer and go five minutes to Wal-Mart, but I’m going to drive 20 minutes into town and get them at Hobby Lobby.  That’s how much I despise them. I don’t mind going out of my way to avoid giving even the tiniest business to an employer whose health insurance is so bad that employees resort to Medicaid instead.  I can practice my rapping skills while I drive.

Peace!

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