It’s On!

I’ve viewed my time by an academic calendar my whole life.  As a tiny girl, I saw my older siblings going to school, taking holidays, and being off in the summer.  When I started school that was my schedule, too.  That schedule didn’t change all the way through medical school, though junior and senior years had no summer break separating them.  After graduation, I started my residency, and the influx of new interns came every July 1.  We maintained closeness with the medical students that we taught, and were also affected by their school calendar.  Finally I finished training and for a few years I worked by a “normal” January to December calendar.  I had a child, took her to “day care” with my parents, and didn’t feel school schedules for a while.  Imagine my surprise when preschool time came!

Being in a mid-size city, I didn’t think that preschool would be such a formal arrangement.  I was totally ignorant of the competition for good preschool spots.  Because my child was happy with her grandparents and looked forward to being with them on my work days, I didn’t consider preschool until she began to ask for more children to be around.  That left me hunting for preschool spots in October, with the academic calendar again thrust on me, totally unexpectedly this time.  I had no clue that a 2 year old required a special school schedule.  I went through several phone calls to the schools that I’d heard of, the embarrassed parent who obviously was out of touch with the world of early childhood education.  Administrators coldly informed me that I had missed their “application cycle” and that they had no spaces available.  I did eventually find a great place for my child, and I stepped back onto the school calendar treadmill. 

So, both young people are back at school, I can see the chunk of January to May time stretched in front of me, and I’m planning what to put into it.  This is what I do instead of making resolutions-assign tasks to the open block of time.  Experience tells me that I will make projections of too many tasks, and that some will decline in importance and fall out of the space without completion.  The tasks are more than a linear list, they have breadth and weight, so my construction of an agenda for this time period takes more consideration than I can make off the top of my head.  As I see the spaces being filled, I will talk about it.

This scheduling makes things both easier and more difficult for me.  Tasks that are longer than a semester seem more difficult to fit in, and they don’t have that nice finality of finishing in a short period of time and checking them off the list.  Tasks that fit into my semester get tackled with gusto, as if I am still expecting to be rewarded with summer vacation.  I took many years coming to accept that some tasks are lifelong, won’t be completed or graded, and cannot be abandoned. 

I’m not sure why this semester’s weight is in my mind tonight.  I thought I’d dwell on tomorrow’s long day of therapy (yes, more IVs in the chemo center), or on the way I miss my daughter, but my brain is fixed on that three-dimensional block of time.  Gotta deal with it. 



One Response

  1. Hang in there. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

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